been a while

ALOT

has happened in the past weeks. no more car for me. but now im back in rancho cucamonga. for good? we'll see. have to find a new job & savesavesave for a car. cuz i cant do anythinggg without it. dance must be put on hold once againnn :[[[[[ that makes me super sad becuz i was just getting back onto my feet & getting ready to return. all these decisions have of course been mine tho. i literally only have 30 dollars to my name at the moment. ive applied to like 30 or more jobs already and trully hate online applications [soo long & there all the sameee] anyways im back in school. only had enough to buy one course but at least i got one. online course of sociology-joy! i miss the kids back in pedro so much. i just cant go back tho at least not yet. i just wish everyone would respect the fact that i'll do things when im ready because basically throughout my whole life ive been forced to do stuff in which i really had no say in. im 18. and of course will still need assistance in some things but im old enough to make my own decisions and all i need is support.

im pretty sure i know what im getting myself into.


....hopefully

FRIDAY THE 13th. blehh.

so today was the worst. it was raining and i was driving home. something happened and i lost control of the wheel. it suddenly just kept goin to the left even as i tried so hard to turn it in the opposit direction. i was in the 3rd lane from the left and went all the way to the carpool lane and hit the median. luckily i hit no cars and no one hit me. i couldnt stop crying cuz ive never been in an accident on the freeway. so i was so scared. a cop came to push me all the way to the other side of the freeway and then a tow truck pulled me off and into a parking lot. anne came so that i didnt have to wait by myself. she so nice. and then aaa came and then i went home. it all happened so fast. had to call off from work today. which kinda sucks cuz i still need more prac before workin by myself next week. but i really needed to just get home to family. im still kinda paranoid with driving now. it was just so scary.& weirdly enough, as hard as i hit the side, there were not dents, just a little scratch. PRAISE GOD.<3
in the words of the amazing carrie underwood...

"She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attentionshe was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my ownI'ma let it go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the wayI've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting goSo give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh"

FML.

school adfhafkhashfkjhsi. why is elco so retardeddd. they hella made mistakes on everything. idk what im doin with school now.

hatehatehate it.

work- starting by myself for the first time next week. at the westin! which i have never even worked at before. .....thats gonna be interesting.

everythings so swell rite now. :/


well at least one things perfect.

another day another nickel

heard that on spongebob today haha

anyways. today was eh. woke up around 11ish. didnt rain today. it was actually pretty sunny in the morning. then just got cold at night then took my aunt & LJ shopping. we went to target and LJ just bought hella candy. and my aunt bought some work clothes. then later on i went to work. worked with ray again. he's so funny. so like he left to do some transfers and then went on his break. leaving me alone for the first time and the slow day turned real quick. hella ppl came in. it was cool tho. i handled. hahah i love old people. and there was alot today. they make me so happy. sometimes theres old women who remind me of my grandma.

but ya. that was the last day i trained with ray. he just kept calling me a smart ass. only cuz i kept being one hahaha. but ya im gettint the hang of all the comp & paperwork stuff when closing. im off tomorrow and open on monday with christine. woo! i finished a week of work. im exhausted. hahah

got home and dinner was on the table. ate by myself. it was weird. everyone was already asleep.
guess this is how it feels to be growing up.

im gonna hit the hay.
goodnite.


ps. watch this!. jennifer & cathy. there amazazinggg & i love this song.

rainy days

it rained pretty much all dizzay. rain makes me sleepy yet im still putting sleep off rite now. i hella woke up around 5ish cuz i couldnt sleep. its all good tho. this morning i tried winning taylor swift tickets on kiisfm. didnt work hahah. got home and watched wizards with buenalee. wizards of waverly place is just sooo funny. it has random dumb parts that just slay me. hahah. buenalee even wanted a little photoshoot. haha shes too adorable.

at 530 i went to work. ray trained me. hes pretty funny but very helpful. im almost gettin the hang of things. so some commited suicide at the hilton this morning. jumped off the 15th floor. im so scared to worked there at nite now. ahhh!

anyways overall this day was good. kinda long and boring. but whatevahh

but

just that little time with that one lovely person was the brightest part of my rainy day :]

♥ just live now

02.04.09

had work this morning. woke up around 4ish. 2nd day of workk. it was pretty cool. the hilton giftshop is hella slow so only about 20 transactions. then we left to the bank. we also went to the hyatt and westin. goldie was at the westin. she didnt have any bodyguards or anything. lol. she bought a toothbrush. & okk so like this one old dude comes in after we come back to tell us that on the sign it said we would be back at 930. and so gave us a hard time. and then when he left we checked the sign. and it said 1030. gahh.

got home and babysat for a while. then ate some top ramen. yummayy. i took care of some stuff for school. boo. hate it. then watched a little tv then got sleepy so took a nap around 2. haha i woke up like at 5. and it was all dark so i thought it was thursday alreadyy bahaha. but it wasnt. then saw that aj was on blogtv and watched him for a while. hes amazinggg. he has a show on feb20th. i wonder if i work cuz i wanna go. so take me :]


..so that was my day of boringness.
hahaha :]

hopefully tomorrow will be exciting-er.

ps. oh man i totally forgot! look what i made on http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com/
heheheh

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me

so wont yu kill me. so i die happy.


i love how my day can turn out like poo.
... but then right before i go to sleep i get that text from yu.

and everythings better<3

.untitled.

this morning was beautiful. wasnt too hard to wake up. got to work like quite early. today was my first dayy yee. michelle trained me. shes cool. i learned alot...cant say i remember alot of it but she wrote notes so hopefully i can remember haha. using the register is quite fun. hella european ppl came in lookin for hangover meds haha. and a guy gave me a 2 dollar tip..it was weird hahah. and so random. but ya i only had to work 4 hours. then went home and babysat. then took my bro to run some arrands. anne came over for a few hours. we went to target to do absolutely nothing haha. then hit up the gas station. got some cactus coolaaaa. hahah beyonce rite thurr. iN THE COOLAAA :] if u can guess what song that is ill give u a DOLLAAAa haha okay thats enough of that


...on a sadder note
so like super long ago maybe 5 or 6 years before i was born my uncle caught a parrot in our front yard. its name was cory and it was pretty much part of the family. everyone was always amazed on how strong it was because it was older then me and still putting its butt up on the cage[oh man that was the funniest] but cory soon began to get weak this year. and tonite we found it dead :[ so sad. but now i kno grandpa&grandma have their pet with them now in heaven. <3